


eremophobia

by hange



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Pen Pals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-09 02:03:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1964772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hange/pseuds/hange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren received his first and only Pen Pal in Third Grade and he couldn't have been happier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Eremophobia**

******Main Entry: er·e·mo·pho·bia**

**Pronunciation: \ˌer-ə-mō-ˈfō-bē-ə\**

******Function: noun : morbid dread of being alone**

_Eren wasn't alone. He never was. Not with Mikasa, one of the few people he trusted his life with._

  
  


Eren signed on to his Skype at 3 A.M, half expecting his best friend to be online. He laughed silently as his eyes scanned his contacts and saw the green cloud lit up next to his best friend's name. 

Moments later his screen lit up as he received a message, if anyone had been near him, they would have said his eyes lit up just as bright as his computer screen in the dim lighting. 

_Armin: Eren! What are you doing online at 3 A.M??_

_Eren: I could ask you the same._

_Armin: You know I'm always on, that's not even close to being fair. But I guess you're right, I should be asleep, I have things to do. But I can't sleep at all! :(_

_Eren: Eh. Can't sleep either, Mikasa's been driving me crazy. Exams coming up soon, she really wants me to pass._

_Armin: Oh, Eren! She's smart to want you to pass! I do too. You know how proud your mom will be if you do good on your exams, and I will be proud too! I know you can do it if you try hard enough!_

_Eren: Ugh! Gag me! You sound just like Mikasa. You're both acting like I don't want to pass. I never said I wasn't gonna try._

_Armin: Well.. You haven't been known to try, Eren. Not that I'm saying you don't try!_

_Eren: Harsh, Armin._

_Armin: You know I'm not trying to be mean!_

_Eren: Yeah, yeah. I got it._

_Armin: Hey, uh, Eren..?_

_Eren: Yes, Armin?_

_Armin: Can we.. Uh.. You know.. Maybe.. Voice Chat? We've just never done anything like that before and I feel like we're close enough to start actually 'talking'! I know I was too nervous to before, but I guess this sleep deprivation is getting to my head._

_Eren: Oh, yeah! Definitely! Here, I'll start the call._

Eren took a deep breath before running his mouse over the "Voice/Video Chat" option. The butterflies in his stomach fluttered as he clicked it, watching the screen light up and start the low-volume ring until Armin had accepted. 

"Uh... A-Armin..?" Eren said, his voice sounding a bit more pathetic than he wanted. He shouldn't be so nervous, this is his best friend he's actually speaking to! 

"O-Oh, Eren.." The sweet voice on the other end of the line sighed. 

Eren almost screamed at how sweet and silky the other boy's voice sounded in his ears. So delicate and small. He decided he wanted to hear more of it, so he ended up talking to Armin for three hours, just drinking up his sweet voice. He asked him a lot of questions, most of them didn't make sense, like 'What's your take on minty toothpaste?' just to hear his laugh, and oh GOD was it gorgeous.

After those three hours, Eren could tell Armin was finally getting tired. It hurt Eren deeply, but he said good-bye, making Armin promise that they would do this again. 

"Alright, I can tell you're tired, and I am too, so I'm gonna have to sign off for the night." Eren chuckled, feeling a bit sad.

"I guess you're right," Armin paused to yawn, "I won't keep you up. Goodnight Eren. I really enjoyed this."

"We have to do this again sometime, Armin."

"I agree."

"Promise?"

"Yes, Eren. I promise."

"Alright. Sleep well."

"You too, dork."

Eren chuckled and said goodbye again, feeling somewhat empty as he exited the call and signed out, gently closing his laptop. 

"I guess 6 A.M is the best time to sleep, huh?" Eren whispered to himself, closing his eyes as sleep washed over him. That night, he dreamt of Armin's beautiful, innocent, voice.

 


	2. sweet but still tangy

Eren groaned as he sat up in his bed, realizing he had slept until 1 in the afternoon. His father would not be happy at all, he had chores to do. Eren was a bit angered that his adoptive sister Mikasa didn't wake him earlier. 

Zooming down the stairs, Eren yawned. It wasn't like him to sleep in so late, but yet it didn't bother him and he wasn't sure that he cared if it bothered anyone else. The sweet memories of speaking with Armin yesterday were still clear in his mind.

"Eren, snap out of it," Said Mikasa as she thumped Eren's forehead.

"Oi! What the hell was that for?" Eren whined, rubbing his forehead.

"You obviously weren't listening to me."

"There are other ways to pull me out of my mind, Mikasa!"

"Anyway, I said I didn't wake you because I knew you were tired from talking to Armin all night."

Eren paused.

"Wait, what?"

"The walls are thin, Eren." Mikasa gave a smile and within an instant it was gone.

Eren sighed and pushed past the girl, stepping into the kitchen, ready to get his chores over with. He stared at the sink.

"Mikasa-" Eren started.

"I already did your chores, Eren. You owe me." Her eyes gave a quick flash.

"What?"

"Do well on your exams." She huffed before heading upstairs to her room.

Eren threw his head back and groaned. At least now that he had no chores, he could start studying. He headed back upstairs, but not before he grabbed a bag of chips. 

Eren closed his door and pulled out a few textbooks, along with his laptop.

_Just a few seconds to say hi to Armin, that's all._

He logged into Skype and scrolled to find Armin's name. He clicked on it and began to type.

_Eren: Don't bother me, I'm studying._

_Armin: Those are words I never expected to hear from you._

_Eren: Rude._

_Armin: Haha. I'm proud of you, Eren. Let's make a deal, okay?_

_Eren: What kinda deal, huh? I'm only 15, Armin, spare me._

_Armin: You're sick. I meant something along the lines of "If you pass ALL of your Exams, then I might just work up the courage to Video Chat you."_

_Eren: Bye, Armin. Gotta study._

_Armin: You better!_

Eren's heart practically leaped out of his chest. Video Chat? With Armin? Oh boy, oh boy. Nothing motivated him quite like this. He almost ripped the pages in his textbook and he flipped it open and began reading and taking notes on the blue notepad he had sprawled out beside him. 

Eren groaned, he was bored to death. He never liked reading in the first place, so it sucked.

_Hold on..._ Eren thought.

_Maybe I could pretend that Armin was reading this, his voice is much more soothing than mine._

_. . . . . ._

About two hours later Eren decided he needed a break. Using his method, he had learned a lot. It seemed more interesting using Armin's voice in his head instead of his own. It was also easier to remember. 

For his break, he had opened his computer and instantly received a message from Armin.

_Armin: I know you're not done yet._

_Eren: Shut up. I'm taking a break. Two hours of non-stop reading does a lot on a guy._

_Armin: I also know that's not true._

_Eren: It hurts my eyes!_

_Armin: Maybe you just need someone to read it to you, and your eyes can't hurt that bad if you're reading this conversation._

_Eren: I'm more interested in you than I am in History._

_Armin: That truly touched my heart. Eren I think you are the most charming man in the world._

_Eren: I try. I would beat you down about studying.. But.._

_Armin: I'm sorry I was blessed with being able to stay awake in class._

_Eren: That's harsh, Armin. I thought we were friends._

_Armin: And here I was thinking we were best friends._

_Eren: Oh my god. You are always a step ahead of me, aren't you?_

_Armin: You can bet on it. Get back to studying now._

_Eren: Okay, mom._

Eren closed his laptop again, huffing. Just a few more hours of studying and it would all pay off, he hoped. 

. . . . . .

A few hours of more studying and Eren was done. His brain was crammed and he was sure that it was screaming in agony as his head pounded. 

"That's enough for today," Eren groaned as he shoved his textbooks back on the shelf. 

The boy opened his laptop for the third time again today and decided that he would call Armin instead of typing. It rang for a minute before it was accepted and a shaky voice rang through Eren's ears.

"Sorry Armin, didn't really feel like typing and my eyes are sore," Eren chuckled.

Eren could of swore he heard sniffling before Armin cleared his throat.

"I-It's alright, Eren. Listen, right now.. It's not a good time for me to Voice Chat." Armin sighed.

"Are you okay? What's going on?" Eren asked in a panicky voice.

"I.. Um.. I-I have to go." Armin whispered into the microphone quickly.

"Wait, what's going on?"

"Forget it, Eren!" Armin hissed and Eren heard the boy on the other end of the line gasp as a slamming sound shrieked into the microphone.

"Armin!" Eren yelled before he was cut off by Armin hanging up.

"Damn..." Eren ran his hands through his hair. He couldn't help but panic for Armin as the slamming noise rang in his ears. No matter how bad we wanted to check up on his friend, he knew Armin had control. He was smart, he would be okay. Probably just his Grandpa or something. Maybe he opened the door too fast. No, it was obvious that whoever opened the door was furious. 

Forget it. Armin is okay. He's a big boy, he can protect and speak for himself.

Eren sighed and rubbed his right eye before crawling off his bed and collected the bag of chips he had neglected. He wasn't hungry anymore so down the stairs it went, back into the pantry.

Back up the stairs to brush his teeth and and get into a t-shirt and boxers. 

"Just go to sleep, you'll talk to Armin later and see what that whole scene was about.." Eren mumbled to himself as he crawled into bed.

"You'll talk to him tomorrow. He needs rest and so you do. You will talk to him tomorrow. Tomorrow." Eren repeated until he fell asleep with his computer screen illuminating his face.

Except there was one thing he didn't know as he drifted to sleep. That was that he wouldn't be talking to Armin tomorrow, or the day after that. Not for a while.


	3. emergency

The next week for Eren was sheer torture. Exams were all week and Armin still hadn't replied to any of Eren's messages. He had been thrown into a state of panic and hoped that Armin was okay. He didn't have the other boy's phone number so he couldn't call, and the boy was never on Skype. Eren's mind had been making up different scenarios, each one worse from the one before it. He imagined a murderer breaking in to Armin's house, or his Grandpa beating him and removing his contact with the outside world on a drunken rampage, or maybe a gang had broken into his house and--

Eren shook his head clear of the thought. Armin was too delicate and sweet to be-

No, not that either. Eren wouldn't know how to deal with that. Armin doesn't deserve anything like that. He is so fragile, yet so strong. He is intelligent beyond belief and Eren clearly knew he had feelings for the other boy and tried his hardest to shove them down deep, but it never worked. Armin is Eren's first crush and it kinda weirded Eren out. Eren had received Armin as a Pen Pal in third grade for some weird project that Eren can't even remember. The boys had gone from hand-written letters, to I.M, then to Skype. Even though they had been talking for about six years, neither of them knew what the other looked like, and that's what freaked Eren out. Well, Eren doesn't care too much about appearances, but he was still so very curious but never worked up the courage to ask. Right now he didn't care about that, he just wanted Armin to respond to his crazed messages.

"Eren!" Called a woman's voice from down the stairs.

"Yes, mom?" Eren replied, rubbing his eyes as if he could somehow forget about Armin that way.

"Can you come here for a second?" 

Eren groaned.

"Do I have to?" 

"Eren Jaeger you get down here right now!" His mother's voice grew impaitent.

"Alright, alright!" Eren yelled back.

The boy leaped off his bed and slid down the stairs, walking into the kitchen and staring at his mother.

The woman wasn't old, she still looked pretty young. She had dark brown hair that was tied into a loose ponytail that slung over her shoulder. There was a concerned look on her clear face.

Eren noticed the look of concern.

"What's with that look?" Eren grunted as he avoided her eyes.

"Mikasa and I are worried about you." She said.

"Don't be."

"Watch it, Eren. Mikasa believes it's got something to do with Armin. Are you two fighting?"

Mikasa is such a rat!

"N-no! It's not.. That."

"What is it then, Eren?"

"I haven't spoken to Armin all week, mom. We were Voice Chatting last week and there was a slam, a-and I'm pretty sure Armin was crying, a-and--" Eren had to stop because he was pretty sure he was going to start crying.

His mother pulled him in to a bear hug, squeezing him tightly.

"My poor baby. I'm sure Armin is just fine, give him time. I know he's not responding, or he's not online or something, but did you tell him how well you did on your exams?" 

"No.." Eren sighed into his mother's comfortable hold.

"I think you should tell him, he will see it when he gets on. Who knows, maybe it will help him feel better if he hadn't been feeling well?" His mother suggested.

"Yeah, okay. Sure. But I really want to stop thinking about him, mom. That's kinda the whole point of me feeling so weird." Eren motioned with his arms as he scooted out of her grip. 

Eren's mother rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Fine. You should still tell him. He would like to know. You two will be talking again in no time." 

"Yeah, whatever." He waved his mother off. 

"Eren." She warned.

"Sorry. I think I'm gonna go upstairs and tell him now." 

"Wait! Here, I made you this sandwich because I know you haven't eaten anything today. Take it in your room if you like." She handed him the plate with a peanut butter sandwich.

Eren took the plate and gave his mom a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks, mom."

She nodded and waved him off.

Eren took his sandwich and headed upstairs, closing his door and grabbing his laptop before settling on his bed, half of his sandwich sticking out of his mouth. He logged on to Skype. Still no Armin.

_Eren: Hey. Hope you're okay._

_Eren: I'm gonna kill you when you respond back, I hope you know that._

_Eren: I'm just kidding. Please respond._

_Eren: Just thought I should let you know that I did really well on ALL of my exams, thanks to the awful studying._

_Eren: You owe me a video chat._

_Eren: Really can't wait to see you for the first time._

_Eren: Please get on soon. I'm going crazy and I don't know if you're okay or not._

_Eren: It's selfish of you to leave me hanging like this. I'm offended._

_Eren: Mikasa ratted me out to mom about me feeling down, I hope you're happy about that._

_Eren: I'm just kidding, don't feel bad._

_Eren: I should probably just stop messaging you. You're obviously not getting on._

_Eren: But yeah._

_Eren: I miss you and you need to get your ass online._

Eren closed his laptop. That was enough torment for today. He prayed Armin would respond soon because it was starting to be too much. He was also fuming because Mikasa had told mom, but he guessed that was pay-back from her doing his dishes and clothes. 

Whatever.

Eren left his sandwich plate on his bed and eventually fell asleep. This was probably the best sleep he had gotten in a while. It was a dreamless sleep, which Eren enjoyed. No nightmares, just a soothing sleep to clear his mind. 

. . . . . . .

Eren woke up in the morning to find that his plate was gone, his laptop was moved on to his desk, and the covers were pulled over him. He kicked the covers off and sat up, stretching. Eren got off his bed and opened the curtains, staring outside for a minute.

The sky was still an orange-pink color, tinted with a beautiful light blue with few clouds. It must have been early. Eren checked the time. 6:34 A.M. Yeah, it was early.

Eren pulled his laptop to his bed and flipped it open. There were 10 new messages. All from Armin.

_Armin: I'm so sorry, Eren. Please forgive me._

_Armin: Something happened and I couldn't get on. I swear I'm alive! I'm so, so, sorry. I missed you a lot, please don't worry._

_Armin: Here's my phone number, okay? Just in case something like this happens again. xxx-xxx-xxxx_

_Armin: I'm so sorry, oh my god. I'm so proud of you!!! I knew you could do it. And I will Video Chat you as soon as I can!! I swear!_

_Armin: I'm not appealing, so don't expect anything great, Eren._

_Armin: I'm sure you look great though!!_

_Armin: Please call me when you read these._

_Armin: I mean, I'm not rushing you or anything, you can call me whenever. Sorry._

_Armin: Please just call me soon._

_Armin: I really need to hear your voice. Please, Eren. Goodbye._

Eren nearly had a heart-attack. His chest felt so tight he wasn't sure if he was even breathing. He leaped halfway across the room to grab his phone and enter Armin's number, not really caring if it would wake him up or not. The phone rang for a pretty long time before Armin picked up.

"H-Hey, uh, Armin? It's me, Eren."

"O-Oh my God, Eren.. I-I... I'm so sorry.." Eren heard Armin choke back a sob over the other end of the line. His chest tightened, feeling his breathing get heavier.

"Please don't cry, Armin. It's okay. Don't cry. I missed you a lot, buddy. You had me worried sick. Are you okay?" Eren cooed into the phone.

Armin paused for a minute.

"I... I'm alive."

"That's not what I asked. Are you hurt?" Eren whispered.

"I'm alive." Came the broken voiced response.


	4. did you search for me

"Eren, you have to promise me something, please.." Armin whimpered over the phone.

"But-"

"Just promise me! Please, Eren.."

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. What do you need, Armin?" 

"You.. You can't tell anyone about this.. Just trust me." Armin's voice grew quiet.

"I promise I won't," Eren assured him. 

"T-These men came for Grandpa yesterday.. And they took him, just like they did four years ago.. A-and.." Armin's voice trembled.

"Hold on, what men? Did you call the police?"

"O-Of course I did! It turns out that they were with the police and there was nothing they could do, I'm scared and I don't know what to do, Eren.." Armin's voice was still very quiet.

"Are you by yourself?"

"No.. I went to stay with a friend from school. That's why I wasn't online, I broke my computer in the shock when I went to hide in my Grandpa's room and my friend, Connie, doesn't have one. Turns out his mom did though and she was kind enough to let me borrow it long enough until I could give you my number." His voice sounded nervous.

"Jesus, Armin.." Eren was wide-eyed.

"Y-Yeah.. I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry.."

"It's fine, really. I was just hoping you were alive and okay,"

"I am alive."

"I know. Hey, what kind of phone do you have?"

"IPhone, why?"

"I do too. Do you have messaging?"

"Uh.. Y-Yes?"

"Good. Text me whenever you want. I'm gonna text you every day I hope you know that." Eren chuckled.

"Fine with me. Oh, and about the whole first Video Chat thing.."

"It's fine, don't worry about it."

"I know how much you were looking forward to it."

"It's fine, really. I promise."

"I might be able to buy a new computer soon, I got a job at a small bookstore not too far from Connie's house. It's easy to get to from after school, too." Armin sounded a bit happier.

"That's great, Armin! Seriously. I'm happy for you, and I'm sure things will be back to normal in no time."

"Thank you, Eren. You've really helped. Honestly, I have the greatest best friend and Pen Pal in the world."

"I'm swooning."

"You should be, dumb-butt."

Dumb-butt? That was just too precious.

Eren just laughed.

"Stop laughing at me!" Armin whined. 

"S-Sorry, bud." Eren said as he wiped a tear from laughing so hard.

"Hey, you done talking to your boyfriend yet? Mom says we gotta head downtown and get some food." Eren heard another voice from Armin's side of the line.

"N-Not my boyfriend, Connie. He's my best friend and my Pen Pal, you know that!" Came a squeaked voice that belonged to Armin.

Eren busted out laughing again. Boyfriend? Man, this kid is a riot.

"Stop laughing, Eren! We gotta go, I'll talk to you when we get back. Goodbye."

"Bye, boyfriend." Eren teased.

"God damn you." Armin hissed before he hung up. 

Eren was laughing but his cheeks were hot and his stomach had the butterflies again. He wondered how he had gotten so lucky with this kid. He was happy for him but still worried, how was he actually doing? He knew Armin was more upset than he was actually letting on, and it made him sadder that he couldn't see him and actually comfort him. Thinking of that, he actually didn't know too much about Armin.

He knew that Armin loved the ocean and everything to do with it. He knew Armin loved nature.         He knew Armin loved to read and sing. He knew Armin could play piano, though he'd never heard him play. He knew Armin was sweet and gentle, always caring, though he could also give attitude and speak up whenever he wanted, though he knew that he was shy.

Eren knew that one day his silly little crush would develop into something more, and he dreaded it. He knew how Armin made him feel. He would get these butterflies who would constantly be fluttering around in his stomach, and even thinking about him, whether it be a conversation, his sweet voice, or even his name, his cheeks would heat up and his mind would be in a daze that just revolved around Armin. 

It was in that moment that Eren knew he loved Armin, he just didn't want to admit it, whether it be from the fact he didn't know how people would react to him being gay, or the fear of being rejected by Armin. He doesn't even know Armin's sexuality.

Mikasa opened up Eren's door and closed it behind her, sitting quiet on Eren's bed.

"So you talked to Armin today?" She asked.

"Uh.. Yeah?" Eren didn't bother to ask why she was up so early.

"Give me his number."

Eren paused.

"Why?"

"You may have forgotten but I've known Armin as long as you have and I am his friend as well." Mikasa flipped her hair.

"Fine." Eren grunted and sent Armin's number to her phone.

"Good. So how is he?"

"Not too well, I don't think. Some personal stuff." Eren shrugged.

"I'll talk to him later about it." 

"Mikasa-" He started to warn her.

"Relax, Eren. He trusts me, too." She rolled her eyes.

"Whatever."

Mikasa laughed for a second before getting off his bed and opening the door, turning to Eren before leaving.

"Armin will be fine, Eren. Stop worrying so much. The more you worry, the more I worry as well. If there was something very wrong, you know he would tell you. I'm going back to sleep for an hour, goodbye." 

She stared at Eren for a second before leaving.

Damn, she's weird. 

Eren shook his head before looking at the clock again.

9:15 A.M. 

He had talked to Armin for three hours, just like the first time they had talked. 

He decided to text Armin and tell him that he had given Mikasa his number so that he didn't have to worry about not knowing who was calling or texting him.

_Eren: Hey, Mikasa asked for your number, hope you don't mind that I gave her it. 9:15_

_Armin: It's no problem, she already texted me and told me. Thank you for warning me though. 9:35_

_Eren: Yeah, yeah. You still out? 9:36_

_Armin: Yep. Connie's taking his time. I don't mind though, I like downtown. 9:40_

_Eren: If you say so. 9:41_

_Armin: Hey, I gotta go. Talk to you soon. 9:45_

_Eren: Alright. See ya. 9:45_

Eren locked his phone and almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a loud clanking and a shriek sound come frown downstairs. He opened his door and ran down the stairs, taking two at a time, and ran into the kitchen, staring at his mother on floor.

The woman was unconscious and pale, breathing jagged. He shook her. No response. He shook her again, screaming.

"Mikasa! Mikasa!" Eren screamed over and over, tears and snot water-falling down his face.

Within seconds the girl was knelt by his side with an arm around his shoulder, calming him while she called 911.

Eren sobbed into his sisters shoulder as his body trembled. The paramedics arrived shortly and they had to pry Eren's hand off his mothers.

"Let go, kid!" The paramedics screamed at him, pulling on him and shaking him.

"Why did this happen?! Why today of all days?! What the hell is wrong with her?! Fix her!! Fix her now, you assholes!!!" Eren screamed, kicking them. 

"Stop this kid, little girl!" One paramedic said.

Mikasa pulled Eren into a death grip, stroking his hair and whispering that it would be alright, he just needed to let them do their job. A minute of doing this while they carried the woman off calmed down Eren enough to behave like a normal person.

"Please make her okay.." Eren whispered into Mikasa's hair as he squeezed her back.


	5. gone

**11:37 A.M.**

The time Carla Jaeger was officially declared deceased. 

**11:38 A.M.**

The time Eren Jaeger assaulted the hospital staff.

**11:56 A.M.**

The time Mikasa Ackerman pried Eren off the hospital staff.

**12:30 P.M.**

The time Grisha Jaeger made an entrance to the hospital.

**1:14 P.M.**

The time Grisha drove Mikasa and Eren back home, not without arguing with Eren and dragging him out while he kicked and screamed.

. . . . . . . .

It had been a month since then and Eren had cut himself off from the world. He couldn't find himself speaking to anyone. Not even Armin. There was too much weight on his shoulders and he couldn't find to do anything except wallow in self-pity.

Eren felt his entire world collapse around him, the harsh reality of it all spitting down on him. He has truly never felt this bad, and wished it would go away. There were no more tears, for his eyes had been dried out from crying too much already. His body trembled and his chest heaved, searching for the air that his body was almost refusing to let in. It felt disgusting.

How could he be breathing while his mother is not? Why had her life been cut so short? What had she done to deserve this? Why didn't she tell him that she was sick?

Eren felt his head pound with questions he was desperately trying to find the answers to. He felt so sick and pathetic, so weak.

A ring from his back pocket made him jump and stole him from his thoughts.

_Armin... Will he help? Will talking to him make me feel better, or will I just bring him down in the gutter, just like me? Hell, he's got his own problems!_

Eren wiped his nose on his sleeve and cleared his throat, deciding to answer the phone. 

"Hello?"

"Eren! Damn it! You had me worried sick! Why didn't you call or text me back when I called and messaged?"

"I'm sorry, Armin. Really, I am." Eren cleared his throat again.

"Wait, Eren, are you okay? It sounds like you've been crying, what's going on?" Armin's voice rose with nervousness.

"It's just.. Uh.. Well.." Eren stopped.

"You can tell me, it's alright." Armin said softly, killing Eren with his sweet voice.

"My mom just.. Recently passed." Eren choked out, rubbing his eye with his left hand.

"Oh my.. Eren, I'm so sorry. I am so, so sorry. How have you been holding up? You've been eating and drinking, right?" Armin asked.

"Yeah." Eren lied, feeling guilty.

"Eren, I can tell you're lying to me." Armin's tone deepened and it scared Eren a little.

"Damn, Armin. I'm not lying, I have been eating."

"Probably not enough, though. You're lucky I'm not there." Armin teased.

"I wouldn't say that.." Eren grumbled.

"Sorry."

"It's okay, really." 

"Promise me you'll take care of yourself and message me a lot, better yet, call me." Armin lightened up a bit.

"I promise I will. I was just really not feeling too well before. Plus, you have your own problems, you don't need to deal with mine."

"That's not true! I will ALWAYS have time for your problems, even if they are silly. My problems can be pushed away for a while when you need me, Eren. You are my best friend, you are very important to me."

"Thanks, Prince Charming. Can you sweep me off my feet and take me to your castle now?"

"Glad to know you're feeling a bit better."

 "Yeah. Guess talking to you helped."

"I would hope so."

"Should have known."

"You really should have."

Eren laughed for the first time in a while. 

"You're right. How have you been, Armin?" 

"There's that laugh I was looking for! Oh, I've been fine. I'm still here with Connie, but it's okay. Better than being alone." Armin chuckled.

"Mmm, if you say so." Eren smiled slightly.

"Hey, Eren, I know we haven't talked in a while, but do you mind if I call you back? Mikasa asked me to call her at work." Armin asked nervously.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Go ahead. Talk to you later." Eren lied a bit, he didn't want Armin to go.

"I'm sorry. Go eat something, I'll call you back in a few minutes."

"Yeah, yeah. Bye."

"Bye, Eren." Armin said as he hung up.

Eren sighed, running his fingers through his hair. What could he possibly have to talk to Mikasa about?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's so short just piling on until the next chapter  
> sorry it's so rushed too!   
> didn't mean to make it so rushed omg.  
> mikasas p.o.v. next chapter and then armins  
> comments give me life thank you so much for the comments and kudos and hopefully ill get better at writing soon haha


	6. the planning period

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short yes I know but the next chapter is gonna be pretty long and it's really a big one with Erens birthday and all ｀ｨ(´∀｀∩

Mikasa rushed out of the small coffee shop she worked in, her raven black hair tickling her cheeks in the wind as she stood outside and pulled out her phone. The girl sniffled from the cold and scrolled through contacts, selecting Armin's name and calling him. The phone rang for a few seconds before the boy picked up.

"Armin." Mikasa greeted.

"Hey, Mikasa..?" Armin asked, a bit confused.

"Sorry about the sudden call. It's about Eren. I'm worried and I'm sure you are too." 

"Y-Yes, I am.. But I'm still confused, are you sure about this plan, Mikasa?" Armin's voice sounded hushed.

"Of course. He has to get out of this slump soon. I know it hasn't been that long but he's having too much trouble and I'm worried, really worried. You know he hasn't been eating and he's just skin and bones. Nothing I'm doing is working, Armin. This has to work. I'm really counting on this." Mikasa sighed, tugging up the silky, dark red scarf Eren had given her when they met.

"I agree. I'm worried too. I'm on-board with your plan all the way. With my job at the Bookstore and what I've alre-" 

"Don't worry about that, I got it. Thanks, Armin. A lot. You're a great friend, Eren and I are lucky to know you." Mikasa cut off.

"O-Oh, gosh, Mikasa.. Thank you! Eren's lucky to have such a wonderful and caring sister." Armin blushed.

"Thanks again. I will call you soon, goodbye." 

"Bye, Mikasa!" Armin said happily. 

She hung up the phone and held it to her chest, sighing. She really hoped this plan would work. Eren's birthday would be coming up soon and Mikasa figured this gift from Armin would cheer Eren up. It should arrive within a week, leaving just a day to pick it up and give it to Eren. Good, good.

Mikasa slipped her phone back into the back pocket of her dark skinny jeans. She went back inside of the coffee shop and slid off her apron, hanging it on it's hanger in the back-room. The raven haired girl walked in the cold winter air all the way back home, tugging the scarf up and keeping her head down low. 

She pushed open the front door and put her bag down on the table, heading upstairs to talk to Eren.

"Eren," She said, knocking on the open door.

"Oh.. Hey, Mikasa. What do you want?" Eren asked, fumbling with his phone. 

"I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"Hmm.."

"What?" Eren asked, facing the girl.

"Stop lying."

"Mikasa, stop. I'm fine."

"I talked to Armin today."

"Yeah, he told me you wanted to talk to him."

"Had to discuss birthday plans, just like every year." 

"You don't need to do anything for my birthday, I'm fine."

"Stop saying you're fine." Mikasa sighed, sitting on Eren's bed. 

Eren just shook his head and sighed.

"You're really gonna like what Armin got you."

"I always do."

Mikasa blinked before putting her arms around her brother, working soothing circles into his back.

"Call me when you need me, we will get through this together. I promise." Mikasa whispered.

Eren just nodded, closing his eyes and relaxing into the hug, his breathing slowing to a steady and quiet pace.


	7. surprise

Armin trembled in the cold, his nose and cheeks a bright red as he tucked himself into the large jacket Connie had let him borrow. He was making his way to the small bookstore at the edge of the street where he worked. The bookstore was small and shabby, made out of dirty bricks that had been poorly secured, and Armin thought the store would break down with a large gust of wind. It had the smell of old, dusty, books and stale cookies that were usually placed on the counter were the owner sat and read all day. Armin didn't mind it though, it felt like home. 

He breathed out a sigh of relief as he stepped inside and closed the door, heat instantly warming his shivering, petite, body. Armin closed his eyes and lifts his head up a bit, inhaling the comforting scent, taking off his jacket and letting it lay upon his shoulder as he strolled through the aisles until he found the book he was looking for. The World Atlas. It was a pretty large book and a bit heavy for Armin, but he could handle it for now. He opened the book and looked through it and nodded to himself, deciding this one was good. He pulled out his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans and placed it on top of the heavy book as he walked back to the front and purchased the book. As he waited, he slipped the jacket back on and zipped it up, grabbing the book and  sliding his wallet back into his pocket. 

"Thank you," Armin said quietly as he grabbed the book and flipped out his phone, feeling it vibrate as someone was calling him. He headed outside before answering.

"Hello?" He asked.

"It's Mikasa," Replied the girl.

"Oh, hey! I just picked up the book and I'm on my way home. I really hope Eren's gonna like it!"

"He'll love it, Armin. Don't worry."

"Yeah, yeah. I know, you're right," He chuckled.

"I should let you get home, just wanted to make sure everything's running smoothly,"  Mikasa uncharacteristically  chuckled a bit herself.

"Mm.. Yeah. Things are going great. Gotta go, talk to you soon."

"You too, bye Armin."

"Bye," He said as he hung up.

Armin sneezed and sniffled, rubbing his right eye. The house wouldn't be that far, just around the corner, so Armin wouldn't have to freeze to death. He didn't mind the cold, only the fact that he was surely under-dressed for the weather. Sighing, he made a mental note to ask Connie for another jacket.

The house was in view now, and so was a run down, turquoise car, with tinted windows. Armin smiled slightly to himself and waved to the car, running past it in into the house. 

"Connie?" Armin called out.

"Yeah, in here. Sasha's over." Connie called back from the kitchen.

"I gotta grab my bag and head out. I'll be back in a few days.. I-If you don't mind, that is!" Armin laughed nervously.

"Course I don't mind, you nut. See ya soon, don't freeze."

"Thanks, Connie. I won't!" Armin sighed out and headed into Connie's room, trembling. Did he really want to do this? Of course he did! But still, it was still a bit dangerous.. No. It's fine, he will be fine. He took another look at his appearance before heading out with his bag and sighed.

"Alright, I'm all set. Bye!" Armin's voice echoed.

"See ya! Have fun." Connie responded.

"Yeah, bye, Armin!" He heard Sasha say before he walked out and closed his door, slipping on the other jacket he took from Connie, figuring he wouldn't mind. He walked towards the car and knocked on the window.

The girl in the front seat stared at him and he could of sworn he saw a smile twitch on her lips, but within an instant, it was gone. She unlocked the door and nodded to Armin.

He opened the door and placed his bag on the ground, where his feet would go, and sat down, closing the door. Armin shivered once and smiled at the girl sitting beside him. She was beautiful. Her hair was raven black, long and shiny, touching her back with slight bangs and a hair in the middle that didn't seem to want to go to the side. Her eyes were gray and hard, a gleam in them when she met Armin's gaze. Her nose was small and slightly reddened, cheeks somewhat puffy. Her lips were small and a nice shade of light pink, dry and cracked from where he could tell she was chewing on it.

"Hi, Armin." She said, her voice rough with emotion.

He couldn't help but smile and reach over to grab the girl and hug her.

"Hey, Mikasa." He whispered, grinning from ear to ear.

"You ready to go?" The girl asked, her eyes and voice softening.

"Um.. Yeah.. I think so." Armin nodded.

"I just want to thank you for coming. I know it's.. Weird.. And you really just.. Really, really met me." She nodded back.

"Oh.. No problem. I really want to! I'm still a bit nervous, but I trust you guys. I'm also super excited, though." He laughed as his body trembled.

Mikasa put one of her hands on Armin's and flashed him a loving glance.

"Buckle up and we will go." 

"Alright." He brings the seat-belt across and clicks it in, nodding at Mikasa with a smile that wouldn't go away, even if he wanted it to.

"Here we go." She breathed out, squeezing Armin's hand.

"Here we go.." He repeated.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i lied this chapter is short, im pushing it all into the next one because im lazy as heck forgive me uvu


	8. how long has it been

Eren had sent out a total of 116 text messages to Mikasa, 12 texts to Armin, and 1 text to himself, demanding that he chill.

_Eren: Where the hell are you? You haven't been home all god damn night, Mikasa! 4:30 A.M._

_Mikasa: Shut up, Eren. I'll be home in an hour. I had to get your birthday present, since I am a caring and loving sister. 4:55 A.M._

_Eren: It took you seven hours to pick up a present?! 4:56 A.M._

_Mikasa: Yes. Now I except you to be dressed and presentable by the time I get home, I couldn't care less how early it is. 5:12 A.M._

_Eren: Are you serious? 5:14 A.M._

_Mikasa: Get ready. Happy birthday, Eren. 5:20 A.M._

This better be good, Eren grunted to himself as he rubbed his eyes and fell right off his bed. The floor was cold and dirty but he didn't care. 

He pulled himself off the ground by tugging on his bed sheets and groaning. Today was Eren Jaeger's 15th birthday, and he couldn't be less excited. This would be the first birthday without his mother, and that broke Eren's heart into a thousand pieces when he realized it.

Eren shook his head a couple times as if that would remove the thought and then made his way to the bathroom to shower. He hurried in the shower and then got dressed, getting a bit more antsy than before. 

What is Mikasa hiding? Where did she go? Why is she being so bossy? 

A loud buzz came from the other side of Eren's room and he rushed to unlock his phone and read the text.

_Mikasa: You better be dressed and presentable, Eren Jaeger. 5:55 A.M._

_Eren: As ready as I will be at 5 A.M. 5:56 A.M._

_Mikasa: I'm five minutes away, stand outside. 6:05 A.M._

_Eren: Why? 6:06 A.M._

_Mikasa: Do it now. Stand outside or else. 6:06 A.M._

_Eren: Okay! Why are you so god damn annoying and intimidating? 6:07 A.M._

_Mikasa: Love you. 6:07 A.M._

Eren rushed outside, not bothering to place shoes upon his feet. He kept his phone in his hand, gripping it so tight he thought it would shatter in his palm. By now, his heart was racing and he was beginning to sweat. 

He watched as Mikasa's beat up turquoise car turned around the corner and made it's way home. He could hear his pounding heart in his ears and almost worried if it would burst his eardrums.

The car pulled into the driveway and out came Mikasa.

"Mikasa-" Eren began.

"Hold on," Mikasa said as she walked to the other side of the car and opened the door, letting a small blonde figure out of the car.

"Wait-" Eren started again, trembling slightly.

"Introduce yourselves," Mikasa pushed Eren closer to the small boy and cleared her throat, "Come on now."

The blonde held out his hand and gave a slight smile before saying the words Eren thought he would never hear except for over a computer screen.

"Armin Arlert," Came the sweet voice, giving Eren goosebumps.

"Eren.. Eren.." Eren tried to get his name out but ended up bursting into tears, grabbing Armin and squishing him in a tight, tight, bear   hug. Soon, Armin was in tears as well. They stayed this way for a long time.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"I cannot believe you, Mikasa." Eren choked out, giving his adoptive sister a thousand kisses on her cheeks.

"Oh stop it, Eren. I love you too. Armin didn't come all this way to watch me be smothered in your kisses." Mikasa said before pushing him away gently.

"Armin.. I just.. Oh my god. I never imagined.. Ever.." Eren grinned so wide his cheeks felt like they were ripping open.

"Me either.. I was so nervous when I made these plans with Mikasa but.. I'm so glad I did it. You're the most important thing to me right now, Eren. Happy Birthday." Armin smiled back as he gave Eren a shy, short, hug. 

Eren stepped back for a moment, just to get a full view of the shorter boy. He had short, beautiful and shiny blonde hair, in an outgrown bowl cut. His eyes captured Eren's instantly, and Eren felt as if he was pulled into a clear, blue ocean. His nose was the cutest thing Eren had ever seen, he swore he would kiss it if he looked at it any longer. Lips, oh those lips. They were perfectly rounded and a soft shade of pink. Eren knew it wasn't really.. Socially correct.. To call other boys beautiful but he couldn't help it. Armin was truly beautiful, and Eren would do anything in the world to tell him that. 

Wait.

Erens mood dropped a little. Armin was here. Armin from online. Armin he had first talked to at 3 A.M. Armin who did not know Eren was gay. Armin who did not know Eren was so attracted to him it was ridiculous. What would he tell Armin? It's not like he could tell him now! What if Armin hated him and Eren only just met him less than an hour ago? 

"Hey, Eren, are you alright?" Armin asked, placing his hand lightly on Eren's shoulder.

"H-Huh? Oh.. Oh yeah. Just a bit shocked still is all." Eren lied, feeling so incredibly guilty and disgusting.

"This is not the strong, fierce, and independent Eren Jaeger I remember from online." Armin teased.

"This is the same intelligent, cruel, yet still the best, Armin Arlert  I remember from online." Eren retorted.

Armin laughed and made such a beautiful move when he reached up to tuck some hair behind his ear.

No, oh no. Eren had been slain on the battlefield. 

Armin had tucked his hair behind his ear. His god damn cute, small, and slightly red, ear. He could not believe it.

"Um.. Why don't we head to my room and catch up?" Eren suggested shyly.

"S-Sure." Armin nodded and gave a reassuring smile.

The boys ran up the stairs and into Eren's room, leaving the door open of course. Eren got some pillows and grabbed a spare blanket from a closet and threw them on the ground, arranging them into a fluffy pile. He sat on the pile and patted the space beside him to Armin. The blonde sat down by Eren and turned to face him. 

The two talked for hours, about school, life, and the future. Eren was pretty content and cool with his responses, trying not to come off as pushy and annoying. That was until Armin brought up a touchy subject.

"So, okay, there's two friends of mine, Jean and Marco. Jean is a bit hot headed, and Marco is timid and super sweet. And, uh, see, we all know Marco is gay, but we're unsure about Jean-" Armin continued on, but Eren trembled a bit, feeling a bit sick.

"Armin," Eren cleared his throat, and wiped his sweaty palms on his pants.

"S-Sorry, didn't mean to get so carried away." Armin smiled.

"It's uh.. Not that."

"Huh?"

Eren moved away from Armin and got up, pacing around the room.

"Uh, well.."

"Eren, are you okay? Did I make you uncomfortable? I-I'm so sorry-"

"N-No! Uh.. No. It's not that.."

"What do you mean?"

"Well.. Um.. I think, no, not think, I know. I'm gay, Armin. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you and I really shouldn't told you right now either, I mean we just met-" Eren was cut off by Armin's small and pale finger pushed to his lip. 

"Eren," Armin frowned.

He brought his finger down and stared up at Eren, sighing.

"Do you think that bothers me? I can assure you it doesn't. You're my best friend and I love you no matter what. And you know what?"

Eren shook his head.

"I'm gay." Armin whispered, his cheeks lighting up.

 

 


End file.
